i went in to a cells at work thread on 4chan’s /a/ because i can’t help but immerse myself in sludge and the whole thread was anons talking about how they’ve been eating better and drinking more water because they want the anime girls that live inside of them to be happier
shinzo abe you son of a bitch, you did it.
cells at work is an anime about anthropomorphic cells living in a human body, depicted as a large city
otaku on 4chan watched the show and, in a desire to make the cells in their bodies happy, have started to live healthier lives
shinzo abe, the prime minister of japan and noted son of a bitch, actually managed to get anime viewers to start taking care of themselves through anime
hey a reminder that sexual intrusive thoughts are not sexual fantasies. sexual fantasies are about what you desire and sexual intrusive thoughts are about what scares you the most and your intrusive thoughts say a hell of a lot more about what you DONT want than about what you do. youre okay and youre safe and youre not whatever it is your intrusive thoughts want you to think you are. youre fine.
if you have a hard time knowing for sure that your intrusive thoughts arent actually fantasies, fantasies will make you feel good. intrusive thoughts wont. if the thoughts scare you, worry you, or stress you out, theyre not fantasies. promise
also groinal responses are a thing and they dont mean you actually want to engage in what your intrusive thoughts are saying
this is so important i dont think most people know about involuntary groinal responses in conjunction with intrusive thoughts/sexual obsessions, and its really important and vital for everyone to know that groinal responses dont indicate desire or interest in the sexual intrusive thought. your intrusive thoughts do not represent your tendencies, desires, interests, or actions you will take, they are your FEARS.
Yet another installment in humans being fuckin weird compared to aliens: humans give blood, organs, and tissue to each other, because our race is built around being able to function under as much stress as possible.
So of course, what do we do when another human will die without something we could live without?
We go to our local hospital and undergo trauma to provide them with it, for no compensation.
Sure you might need to eat and drink more, take antibiotics or anti rejection drugs, but hey!
B’ril over there had to wait until HIS race figured out stem cells and lab grown organs, because ALL their organs are vital, and losing a pint of fluid flat out kills them or sends them into shock.
“You… you lost… your toxin filters?”
“Well, we’ve got a few things that do that, but yeah, like… four of them?”
“….Four?”
“Well, counting tonsils.”
“You are… How are you alive, again?”
“You make it sound so weird. I still have two kidneys- One’s synthetic, the other was donated.”
“…….donated?”
“Yeah, my girlfriend was compatible.”
“Donated.”
“….Yeah? Like, we had the same blood type and everything, and she volunteered. What, you guys don’t do that? What do you do when someone needs a liver, or something?”
“We… clone one.”
“Okay, sure, but what did you do before cloning? You didn’t just like, give someone a piece?”
“….. we died? Wait, what do you mean, ‘give someone a piece’?”
“Well, our livers can grow back. You can give someone a piece of yours, and they can grow their own. You guys don’t do that?”
I found this thing on Facebook… and I fell down the Humans Are Weird hole yet again. 😂(I first did before I even started my blog – Pinterest is sooo full of these posts! And I keep falling down it from time to time, when I discover something new)
I do feel bad for plants in general. Like, I know they are often as vicious as animals in many ways, just slower. But, I mean, they just show up and they’re like, “I Think I Will Evolve To Eat The Sun And Also Make Oxygen And How Now Is All This.” And, like, everything fucking dies at first (totally not plants fault, btw. okay maybe it was but they didn’t mean to) but then new things evolve. And they’re like, “Fuck it, eating each other suuuucks. Let’s eat the plants which give us life.” And so we start doing that. And plants are all, “Oh Dear No, I Do Not Care At All For Being Eaten. I Will Make Myself Into Poison Sometimes.” But, y’know, stuff kept eating plants anyway so plants, ever the bro, came up with a new idea. “I Have Made A Decision About Being Eaten And You May Eat Me Friends And Here Is An Especially Tasty Bit Packed All Full of Delicious Sugars Which I Have Produced At Great Cost (What They Do Not Know Is That My Seeds Are Within And Shall Be Propagated Near And Far By Their Dung)“ But that’s not good enough for animals, no, not at all. We love the fuck out of some pomegranates but also alliums which are like, “I Have Not Decided To Go In For This Being Eaten Business. I Shall Be Very Foul Tasting And Also A Poison.” But no, sorry, onions, you fucked up. You accidentally wound up with a species that just doesn’t give up or fully comprehend the idea of things tasting “”‘bad’“’ or other concepts like not eating poison. (Sorry, plants, later we turn some of you who are not poison into a poison we consume recreationally. We really enjoy eating poison.) Legit, alliums are deadly to, like, every other species. And we call them aromatics and throw them in everything. Peppers are the best, though. They completely got on the being eaten train. BUT ONLY BIRDS Peppers are like, “You May Eat Me, Fair Avian, For You Are Sure To Spread Me A Great Distance. But, Mammal, Take HEED. Should You Eat Me Then I Will Burn You Most Terribly.” And we were all about that. “The FUCK, burning? I love pain,” said humans, presumably. “You know, peppers, you and evolution have done a good job at burning us but I am pretty sure we could make your chemical agony even more potent. Come hang with us,” humans added to a very confused pepper just before creating the ghost chili.
“Look at them! They dance with others of their species they’ve never met before just for their shared love of certain sound patterns! That is so sweet!”
—
“The humans have told me that this process is called ‘hugging’, and it involves simply holding each other to release endorphins. Isn’t that precious? Look how happy they are!”
—
“Humans have a physical response called ‘laughter’ to indicate high positive emotions and humor. It seems to be infectious, as one laughing human can easily cause laughter and endorphin responses in other humans!”
—
“They pack bond so easily, even with inanimate objects. A human companion of mine recently purchased a small ‘cactus’ plant simply because it was not shaped as perfectly as the rest and she wished to give it a home. She has named it Bartholomew.”
“Yes, my own human friend has displayed this tendency as well. When I questioned her, she expressed that she has pack-bonded with me. I felt I must perform a ‘hug’ in order to express how adorable she is.”
—
“My human companion has adopted another, smaller Earth predator into his home. I frequently find him carrying it around or napping with it simply to share companionship and feel the vibrations the creature produces. He very often expresses how adorable and precious the feline is, though he does not seem to realize that he is similarly so.”
—
“The humans record themselves playing pretend and telling stories so other humans can watch them. I have samples of these ‘movies’ to share with the rest of the observation party. For research purposes.”
Okay so you know how most of the humans are weird posts have a lot of human gestures seen as threats? Well the humans in those posts seem to have no clue about that.
So what if they really don’t have a clue?
What if nobody told them, and of course they wouldn’t think to ask, especially with all the aliens doing their best to learn how to interact with humans.
What if a human was on a crew and there was a species for which practically everything the human did to be friendly was a sign of aggression for their species. What if that made the alien extremely scared of the human. Of course the human would eventually ask, “why” after all humans are known for our curiosity.
So finally the human learns they’ve unintentionally been threatening their entire crew while trying to be friendly and they are like, “wtf, why didn’t anybody say anything sooner?” And dispite most of the aliens being all, “It’s okay, we understand” the human is all like, “no way, teach me how you behave, I wanna get it right.”
So then they study constantly how to be friendly and such toward all their different crew members, and what they view as threatening. Even though lots of the things are impossible and they still slip up here and there they try their best. They especially go out of their way for the species that is super afraid of them.
They even document it and send a copies off to other humans, and official bodies. Finally all the humans in space are trying their best for their crews and adding different species research. Now all the humans know and insist on getting detailed info for every new crewmember’s species just so they can make a good first impression.
If anybody wants to add to or use this idea go ahead, I love reading these :3
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