please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore
TIL a cave goat that went extinct approx. 5,000 years ago is the first known mammal to have become cold-blooded. Their bone growth rate is unlike any other mammal, and more similar to crocodiles in showing slow and adaptive rates to environmental temperature.
The goat’s binomial name is Myotragus balearicus. It was kind of an oddball in a lot of other ways, too, an example being that it had forward-facing eyes, giving it stereoscopic vision, which was pretty odd for an ungulate.
in elementary school i hit this kid cause he said i cant punch and i broke his nose and then my stepdad picked me up and the office was like “you have to say sorry” but then the kid was like “but she proved me wrong, she doesn’t have to say sorry” ladies and gentlemen my best friend of many many years
I’M SORRY I SAW THE POST AND I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF
[image description: two arms shaking hands. Over the arm on the left is the wors, “bisexuals” and over the arm on the right are the words, “non-binary people.” Over their hands are thr words, “being told to ‘pick one.’”]
That I was out playing pokemon go, and people all over the world had started seeing this new pokemon popping up. Like out of nowhere this little thing started appearing occasionally. No word from Nyantic or The Pokemon Company about when or why they had released it. The pokemon was called “sleepytired” and it looked like this.
And you couldn’t catch it, the ball would just go straight through it. People were data mining and shit trying to figure out how to catch this thing but they couldn’t. Eventually they would just have to give up and leave the encounter.
After a few weeks of people reporting sightings of it, and no word from Nyantic, some creepy shit started happening…
What started happening was, if you entered an encounter with a “sleepytired” with the AR on it would manifest in the real world. But it wouldn’t do anything. It would just float there, watching.
So people being curious started doing this whenever they could, and these things would just manifest and stay there. Obviously this was causing problems because these things would just be floating menacingly in local parks and in the local McDonald. And they couldn’t be moved, because anyone who tried to move them or touch them would be struck by sudden, intense, chronic fatigue that seemingly had no cure.
The last part of the dream I remember was watching a news broadcast telling people that pokemon go was now illegal, and to avoid touching or disturbing the creepy little things that are now just about everywhere.
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