Good news, tungle.hellsite, the first positive update we’ve had in years lets you write text posts with MAXIMUM GAY! Absolutely RAGINGhomosexuality on main!
so a little while back, i wrote a cookbook, and the post’s being passed around tumblr a whole lot lately. (thanks for that, by the way! i’ve made like a hundred dollars this week and my cat’s very excited about the fancy pumpkin-and-nastiness catfood that she’s going to get in celebration.)
when i released the book, i was like, oh, i oughta do something for promo! which i promptly did not do, at all. but i’m doing it now! free cookbooks for all! well, for some. five. five, to be exact, free cookbooks for five.
anyhow, this is the book i wrote:
Cooking is terrible, and food is often a massive pain in the ass. Eating is sometimes ok, sometimes a giant drag, and somehow still a thing that you have to do multiple times a day, which seems enormously unfair.
This book isn’t going to teach you how to cook, or turn you into the kind of person who hosts effortless dinner parties, or make you more attractive and popular and interesting. At best, it’s going to make it slightly more likely that you manage to eat something in the ten minutes between walking in the door and falling into the sweet embrace of the internet. I’m not joking—a lot of this can be done, start to finish, in ten to fifteen minutes. I resent thirty-minute meals because it feels like about twenty-eight minutes too long to spend on feeding myself.
If you’re excited to get home from work and spend an hour cooking dinner, this isn’t the book for you. If you really value authenticity, this isn’t the book for you. If you literally only eat three foods and you’re happy like that, this isn’t the book for you. If you, like me, are tired and depressed and just need to get some food into your face once in a while, this is definitely the book for you. You should buy it. Maybe it’ll help.
you can buy it on amazon or gumroad, or you can win a copy (in pdf, epub, or mobi format) by reblogging this post.
other important stuff:
winners will be chosen by a random generator
please don’t spam people–reblog no more than twice
Red. I’m honestly not all that money motivated as long as I’m comfy.
Red…
Red pill, I’m not wasting money on college again!
That red pill is going to help me put millions of dollars in the bank
The blue pill would be really good if you were over 45…
Red. Avoid trauma, make a ton of money investing, make goddamn sure I don’t get stuck here again so I can be out and if I had a moment I’d google the lotto number winners for my 18th birthday before taking the pill.
I’d also be able to focus more on game design instead of muddling around not knowing what I wanted to do.
Only 50 mill?
If I went back to 1996, with full adult memories and knowlegde – I would get Microsoft and Apple stocks all over the place, and I would make billions off bitcoin by buying loads of it back when it was only worth pennies and then begin steadily dumping the lot around september 2017
only 50 mill? Come on
You can only buy stocks for yourself at the age of 18, I believe. So you need to wait until 2004. You also need money to invest.
Stocks are all about rises and falls. Apple, Microsoft and Google were all public by the time you hit 18 years old, meaning their stocks are all more expensive. Look at the below chart, which is from NBC financial.
10 years of investment with Apple nets you a 6x return. Amazon 12x. Netflix offers a whopping 50x return. A 50 times return via Netflix is actually a bigger return than if you invested in Apple in 1995, which is only a 40 times return.
Red pill. I regret who I was in school, up until about halfway through college… though I suspect a lot of people might do the same.
Not to mention, assuming knowledge also includes skill level, imagine how much more I could improve my art if I got to start from that time again! I’d be able to get a much bigger head-start on entering the industry back then.
As long as I’m comfortable and able to afford what I need, I don’t really need millions. Just… enough.
The red pill would be such a wild ride for me. Imagine going into middle school fully aware of and comfortable with your homosexuality. Not to mention all the creative endeavors I was too embarrassed to try back then and now absolutely encourage, like hell yeah little me write your terrible knockoff fiction, draw Neopets fanart, make a Bubbles halloween costume like you always wanted, you beautiful disaster!! The ability to act on my current hindsight would allow me to improve my schoolwork and social habits, namely not putting so much pressure on myself to be a straight-A college-bound student that pressure from advanced courses broke me entirely, and doing better at maintaining relationships while recognizing and accepting that I need lots of breaks from being around people.
You bet I’d try to cheat some lotto numbers for my 18th birthday and
then blow as much of it as I could on Netflix stock, but only so I could
give a small fortune to charity and then spoil myself making a habit of
buying art commissions from my friends.
Also “predicting” the future would be a fun way to mess with people.
remember when marina and pearl were introduced and all gamerbros started pitting the idols against each other and hating pearl and praising marina as their supreme waifu and hoping those two would rip each other to shreds and secretly hate each other
but nintendo was having none of that and it all backfired spectacularly, and instead pearl is a refreshingly funny lovable spunky lady, and marina is a incredibly sweet and dorky genius, and they support and like each other a lot and have tons of inner jokes and an adorable backstory together?
I’ve read a few fics about these two checking up on injuries and stuff so I wanted to doodle my own parts lol it got less and less serious as I continued drawing
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