This is legitimately the funniest thing that has ever happened on MBMBAM
who doesn’t eat raw pasta tho, that’s a thing???
transcript:
Justin: Hi, Brooks!
Travis: [crosstalk] Hello, Brooks!
Brooks: So, my question is – my boyfriend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing… handfuls of fettuccine?
[audience laughs]
Brooks: Unco – [laughs] uncooked?
Griffin: [sarcastically] I would hope he’s not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine, Brooks!
Travis: In your pantry?!
Brooks: No – and eating them raw – [audience groans] – and he keeps calling them chips?
Justin: Okay –
[audience laughs]
Brooks: How do I make him stop?
Travis: Is your boyfriend here?
Brooks: Yeah.
Travis: You’re a monster! [audience and Justin laugh] Words mean things!
Griffin: Does anyone remember – [clears throat] I haven’t been to olive garden in… many moons, but they do have like, a little, like – fettuccine… bottle that you can just grab ‘em out of and chew – hold on! [indignantly] Was this a prank you guys pulled on me when we went to Olive Garden as kids?!
[audience laughs]
Griffin: No. Stop, everybody shut up! [audience and Justin laugh] Do they give you fe – raw fettuccine to chew on in the lobby of the Olive Garden??
Audience: No!
Griffin: YOU ST- FUCKIN’ –BASTARDS!
Travis: [crosstalk] Yaaaaaaayyy!!
[audience starts cheering and clapping]
Justin: The prestige!!
[Travis and Justin cackle while the audience cheers. Griffin presumably has his head in his hands.]
Travis: And now you have IBS!
Griffin: I didn’t -!
Travis: [triumphantly] We got ‘im!
Griffin: What I need you – [aside] Brooks, we’ll get back to you – [to his brothers] what I need you two to understand is – [Justin wheezes and giggles] that was not – the only time I went to Olive Garden. [audience laughs] There were – [laughs]
Travis: [in disbelief] Were there never employees around, like -??
Justin: [high-pitched giggles]
[audience laughs even more at Justin’s giggling]
Griffin: I – I! Wanting to seem like an authentic metropolitan… diner, would always grab the fettuccine and walk over to my friends like, “Mm, yeah, I’m a little – a little peckish -”
Travis: [cackles]
Justin: Griffin – Griffin, I –
Griffin: I fucking can’t believe – I can’t believe you did that, and I can’t believe literally I’m finding out in the worst imaginable venue –
Justin: Speaking as a former Olive Garden employee, there is – if I saw a little kid eating fettu – raw fettuccine, the… odds of me stopping them are negative one thousand percent.
[audience laughs]
Griffin: Okay, Brooks.
Justin: Brooks.
Griffin: Yeah, so I’m – gonna –
Justin: Wait –
Griffin: Sit this one out, Brooks! [audience and Travis laugh]
Justin: Brooks, is it possible that your boyfriend has been laboring under the same delusion as my brother for all these years? [audience laughs] “Oh, but wait, they sell this for you to take home? Okay! Little fancy for myself, then!”
[Griffin and audience giggle]
Travis: Brooks, is it possible –
Griffin: Mmm.
Travis: – your boyfriend does not believe these are chips, but instead, likes to annoy you, by calling them chips, a thing I – not exactly that, but similar – do to my wife all the time? [audience laughs]
Griffin: Is it possible, your boyfriend… loves chips. And you never have chips, and this is his way of passive-aggressively sort of – [audience laughs] guilting you into go – “Ooh, these are tasty chips!” – and as a raw fettuccine eater myself, I can tell you, it’s not a – it’s not a good chew!
[audience and brothers laugh]
Griffin: You do it, and you put it in your mouth, and your six-year-old brain thinks, it’ll turn to fettuccine in the heat of your mouth. [hysterically, as audience laughs] It doesn’t work like that! It doesn’t work like that! It justdoesn’t work like that.
I forget where it was but I saw jeans for sale and like they were labeled as “girlfriend cut” instead of ‘boyfriend’ and like the irony to me is that the term “boyfriend style jeans” was originally done as this weird way to heterosexualize the dangerous idea of women wearing slightly loose pants so you knew you weren’t a dyke but like apparently the use of the term “boyfriend” was like too much of a gender confusion crisis for the buyer so they had to change it *again* as opposed to just calling it “loose fitting” to begin w and now it has fully no-homo’d itself into a corner and it just sounds like yr stealing yr jeans from some butch girl yr dating
My fave quirk w boyfriend jeans is that time the gap didn’t realize that having jeans that were “boyfriend” cut and “pegged” style would turn out greater than the sum of its parts
People who like rocks see cool rocks everywhere. People who like birds see interesting birds everywhere. The tree on your yard could be an exceptional specimen. The world around you could be amazing and magical, but you aren’t enough of a nerd to see it.
I gave my mum Alexandra Horowitz’s On Looking: Eleven Walks Through Expert Eyes for her birthday this year, it’s a book that revolves around this idea: the author invites 11 specialists in different things to walk around a boring city block with her one after the other so they can point out to her the things they see, that she doesn’t notice. There’s an expert in typography talking about what the variety of fonts on urban signs can tell you about the city’s history, an entomologist pointing out all the urban insects no one pays attention to, a geologist, a sound engineer…
Did you know there’s an outtake from the 2000 Grinch movie where Jim Carrey leans in real close to Jeffrey Tambor’s face and then rips off Tambor’s prosthetic nose with his teeth
please for the love of god learn to have nuanced stances on things based on empathy and compassion
fun fact but you CAN be against horny freaks sexualizing children AND simultaneously have empathy for sex workers and adult content creators who Don’t Do That and are just trying to make a living, while also not treating them as expendable little footnotes in the process of taking a hammer to aforementioned horny freaks
and also potentially consider that staff literally does not give a fuck about either of these things and is just shamelessly writhing against having been removed from some app store or what the fuck ever
Friendly reminder that the intro to Lion King….the non english bits leading up to the “circle of life” is not random yelling in *Africa voice* it is an actual language, Zulu, spoken by 10 million people, it is the most widely spoken language (out of 11) in the country of South Africa (1 out of the 54 countries in the continent of Africa, the continent home to somewhere between 1500-2000 languages and around 3000 distinct ethnic groups)
this isn’t to say that you have to friggin learn the language to sing along with a disney film, it just means that you should be mindful, respectful, appreciative and respectful. don’t be yelling out whatever noise comes in to your head when you hear it
Ok but someone knows what does this say?
The lyrics before the english comes in…in “circle of life”
Nants ingonyama bagithi baba [Here comes a lion, Father] Sithi uhm ingonyama [Oh yes, it’s a lion]
Nants ingonyama bagithi baba [Here comes a lion, Father] Sithi uhm ingonyama [Oh yes, it’s a lion] Ingonyama [It’s a lion]
Siyo Nqoba [We’re going to conquer]
Ingonyama Ingonyama nengw’ enamabala [A lion and a leopard come to this open place] (repeats)
[queue English lyrics]
I would like to further add that language has there own cultural nuances so something that can sound extremely meaningful in one languages may not sound as majestic when translated to another (I know this as someone who has an understanding of 5 languages and speaks 3 of them fluently) so if you are thinking “oh it ain’t that deep they are just yelling: the lion is coming!” dial it back
Worth noting that “lion” and especially the word Ingonyama is a very respectful word to talk about a Zulu king, especially in praise. It’s so heavily associated with royalty in isiZulu that a different word is used for an animal lion – Ibhubesi. This isn’t just announcing the arrival of an animal, it’s celebrating the arrival (or coronation?) of the king
Okay, folks. So. Tumblr’s jumped the shark in a big way, and I’m not even just talking about indiscriminately blocking all “adult” content on a platform that IS, in fact, primarily 18+.
Many blogs, like the wonderful @blackkatmagic , that are not especially NSFW have vanished.
(And I for one LIKE being able to go to curated porn blogs run by actual people and have a chance of finding stuff to my taste, it was one of the things that kept me on this hellsite, but that’s another issue entirely.)
I know lots of people are talking about migrating, but none of us are sure to where yet. Pillowfort seems to be an option, some people are talking about Twitter. But for now, it’s a mess, and even if we knew where we were going, it’s often a huge process, and a lot of us have stuff on tumblr that ONLY exists there.
One possible quick solution to save your blogs, both NSFW and personal, is to import it to WordPress. I found this solution through from frantic googling on how to save an entire blog, text posts an all. There are several apps for downloading all the pictures from a tumblr, (Plently for Windows, but only a few paid ones for mac, of which Tumbelog Picture Downloader is working for me so far) but this is the only solution I’ve seen so far that allows you to save EVERYTHING. I downloaded my NSFW blog in like 10 min. My regular blog, which is significantly larger, is in the process of importing, but I don’t anticipate any problems. I will, of course, update you if I have any.
This tutorial I found worked really easily. http://quickguide (.) tumblr (.) com/post/39780378703/backing-up-your-tumblr-blog-to-wordpress
I put parenthesis around the .’s like we’re back in FF-Hell, just in case tumblr’s new thing about outgoing links kicks in. You know what to do.
To break it down, just in case:
Sign up for a WordPress.com account at wordpress (.) com/start
You’ll have to create an account, with your email, a username, and a password. They should send you a confirmation email immediately, check it, activate it, and you’re good to go.
On the site, it will ask you for a site name. That page asks you a bunch of other information too, but you only have to fill out the site name.
Then you have to give your site a URL. If you’re lucky, your tumblr URL is still available, if not you’ll have to come up with another one, sorry.
It will tell you if that option is still available for free.
Then it will ask you to pick a plan. Free is really good enough, I swear.
Now you’re set up! You can import your tumblr!
The only differences from the linked tutorial are that the Import button is now on the first level menu, not in tools.
Hit Import, then you have to follow the link for “other importers” at the bottom, to find the option for Tumblr.
Then you’ll have to sign in with tumblr, using your normal tumblr credentials. You’ll be redirected there automatically.
You’ll have to allow WordPress permissions on your blog.
Then your blogs, including all your sideblogs, will show up in wordpress.
Hit import, wait a WHILE depending on the size of your blog, and you’re done!
ALSO!!
I made my NSFW blog private for now, since I don’t know WP’s policy on NSFW.
This means that to access it, someone has to have an account and request access. But hey, part of our problem on this hellsite has been people going places they aren’t wanted, so I don’t personally see this as a bad thing. They can send a request from the landing site on your blog, you get an email, click a link in the email, and PRESTO, they have access.
To make it private, go to Settings > Reading > Site Visibility. Go back and check, it took me changing the setting twice for it to actually stick.
tl;dr, you can import your entire blog to wordpress in just a few steps.
I’m going to tag the hell out of this, in no particular order. PLEASE reblog this and spread the word so people know it’s an option. If you’re having trouble, PM me, and I’m happy to help.
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