AU where Minerva McGonagall has a little less faith in Albus Dumbledore so she does agree to leave Harry at the Dursleys.
But then proceeds to move right in next door with her wife because Albus never said that she couldn’t.
So Harry grows up with two grandmalike aunties next door, who basically finnagle him into living with them in all but name. It’s great, until he gets to Hogwarts because he keeps accidentally calling McGonagall Aunt Min instead of Professor.
The more I think about this the better it gets because suddenly a small biracial orphan appearing on the Dursley’s doorstep is less scandalous and gossip worthy in the
pasty ass white suburbia of Privet Drive, when it’s compared to the elderly lesbian interracial couple who moved in next door.
Okay this has an amazing amount of potential for Harry, but I am very filled with curiosity about Minerva’s wife.
1) Who is she? and more importantly
2) How did this marriage come to pass?
I mean I am all for Minerva McGonagall having had a wife already at this juncture in her life, but consider
1) Utter BAMF who is acknowledged to be out of everyone’s league Minerva McGonagall walking into a Ministry break room full of lady Aurors and the like and saying, “I have a child that needs looking after and a neighborhood full of prats who need scandalizing and will marry the first woman to say yes” and there is a moment’s shock and then the verbal equivalent of half a dozen bridesmaids diving for the bouquet with one clear winner who was a split second faster on the uptake and they end up in love by the time Harry is old enough to toddle properly.
2) The house next door is being sold by the daughter of its occupant who just inherited it and wants nothing to do with Little Whinging except to inflict herself on all the narrow-minded bastards long enough to get a good price for it; when Minerva walks in the door there is a mental adjustment that leaves her swooning (or maybe that’s Minerva) and after tea, dinner, and certain other activities she invites Minerva to live with her instead of selling it.
3) Minerva specifically tracks down the schoolmate she knows to be best at making stupid people regret everything, and asks her to pretend to be her wife, share a house in Little Whinging with her, and help keep an eye on Harry Potter. Both of them solidly overestimated their ability to keep the relationship fake.
One time, Gryffindor reached exactly 69 house points, and for two whole weeks they managed not to gain or lose any by being as boring as possible. It was finally broken when Hermione was awarded 10 points for some good Charms homework, and Ron was subtracted 20 for yelling “FUCKS SAKE HERMIONE” in response
it happened, only it wasn’t mentioned because it wasn’t relevant to Harry’s story
I still say the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter was that there wasn’t a scene where Hermione found 16 year old Harry in a shopping cart on top of the Astronomy Tower while 16 year old Ron stood by with Colin’s camera because if the prophecy says that he has to die via Voldemort then that means nothing else can kill him ergo there’s no way this could possibly go wrong…
It has come to my attention that some of us need reminding about the reasons to love one Harry James Potter (this is absolutely no order whatsoever)
The first time he gets any pocket money of his own he wants to buy a fucking solid gold cauldron
Sass level 10
Unconditionally loyal
He is a total loveable weirdo. He compared his attraction to Ginny as a chest monster and called Snape’s potion book “The Prince”
Despite being anti-authority (for good reason!) and disliking to be told what to do, he clearly craves approval
“No need to call me, Sir, Professor.”
When he realizes Malfoy is being used by Voldemort he feels sorry for him. Even as an angry, bitter teenager he can feel empathy for someone he dislikes.
His repeated use of expelliarmus, even against death eaters. People make jokes but I think this shows the extent to which he did not want to cause harm to someone else even once he realized he could.
Dug dobby’s grave by hand
Even Dumbledore is surprised that Harry manages to feel sorry for Voldemort. THE LEVEL OF HARRY’S COMPASSION AND DESIRE TO FORGIVE IS OVERWHELMING.
He returns to the elder wand. So fucking powerful and HE DOES NOT WANT POWER
Going back to save Malfoy in the burning room of requirement was his idea despite the things Malfoy had done
able to get the resurrection stone out of the mirror or erised because he had zero desire to use it. Literally at age 11 was filled with so much goodness even then he wanted to save a world he barely knew.
he was able to forgive Snape and Dumbledore
Filled with anger and fear, and despite being shunned by many he still helped lead the D.A. to teach other’s how to protect themselves. Harry wanted people to find their inner strength and talents.
His moral compass is strong. Despite the years of abuse, and the many temptations he faced his goal never wavered.
Harry is exceedingly generous. He buys out the sweets trolley to share with Ron, he buys his friends omnioculars at the world cup, gives his winnings to the twins for their business, etc… This is not because he has endless wealth but because Harry cares more about equality and making his friends happy than having things for himself.
Despite being labeled as unobservant Harry actually noticed a lot of things (like Draco in 6th year!). He didn’t ignore things that seemed out of place or didn’t make sense.
He chose to save Gabrielle rather than beat Victor in the second quest because he’s that good a person. He cared more about doing the right thing rather than winning.
Harry James Potter is so fucking pure.
A pure, precious precious PRECIOUS cinnamon world who is too good for us and deserves the world
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