Source: bob-belcher

arabellesicardi:

seesalt:

Me: I’m gonna set a personal deadline

Me to me: She’s a huge pushover do whatever you want

i’ve never been so attcked in my mf life

nachosforfree:

Have I posted this yet

Source: nachosforfree

meganbagels:

youcanthandelthetruth:

Some old fella came up to me at work and asked a question only he didn’t quite figure out if he should call me “sir” or “ma’am” by the time he got to the end of his sentence and in a moment of apparent panic ended up saying “captain” instead. Absolutely made my day.

Ideal pronoun

lemonsharks:

curseworm:

human brain: sometimes we need to do boring things with no gratification or immediate benefit

monkey brain: absolutely not. die

Human brain: ok what if we eat chips while we do the boring thing

monkey brain: I’m suspicious but keep talking

oily-crybitch:

I wanna get buff. It’s one of my few wishes in life. I need to be able to lift my friends up both emotionally and physically. I do not, however, want to Ever do Any exercise in my life.

Ninoir

bullysquadess:

Chat Noir: Hmmmm I am feeling,,, touch starved

Nino: Dont worry bro I GOTCHU *lays on top of him with entire body weight*

Chat Noir: yyyyyeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssss

narramin:

my attention span as a 10 year old: *reads the Lord of the Rings trilogy in like two sittings*

my attention span now: *checks internet every 10 minutes during important task, opens new tab of same site I’m already browsing and got tired of*

Source: teenscoolest